Recognizing Narcissist Tools

Jul 26, 2022

Also listen on Apple Music or Spotify

Only 1% of the population has a true, 100% Narcissistic Personality Disorder diagnosis, but there are millions of others that fall somewhere along the ‘narcissist spectrum.’ These people are ‘emotional children’ who use harmful tools on others. In this episode of Post-Narc Life, we will be looking at some of the tools narcissists used to elicit the responses from you that THEY need, to meet their emotional needs.

These tools generally fall under 3 categories:

  1. Abandonment 
  2. Distraction  
  3. Manipulation

Today we’ll talk about how you probably have had to respond to these forms of abuse [by abandoning your own feelings and self-care] to merely survive, and how you need to start recognizing how these harms make you feel, so you can identify those feelings, deal with them, and begin to build your post narc life!

The Post-Narc Life podcast is hosted by Laura Bytheway, a life coach specializing in surviving and eventually thriving after narcissist abuse. In the podcast, and through Laura’s coaching, you will give yourself permission to get rid of the old you that was merely surviving, you’ll decide what you want your new life to look like, and then you’ll dig in to actually doing the work and use the tools you’ll need to build and sustain your new life.

Laura’s clients are men or women who have narcissist parents, in-laws, spouses, or exes, as well as those dealing with estranged adult children or addicts, and those who have been abused by narcissists in a religious or professional context. If you’ve survived a narcissist and you still haven’t reached your goals, coaching may be the missing piece. Find out how coaching can help by requesting a free consultation in the links below.

Discussion Points:

  • What can I call you, my listeners? Post Nark-ies? Write in with your great ideas!
  • It’s not our job to blame or label people narcissists
  • The 3 Harmful Tool Categories:
    • This sinister tool plays upon primal survival instinct
    • You keep trying to please, spinning in doubt and altered reality
    • Narcs create an emotion in you that makes you want to appease them, they love this, it meets their emotional needs
    • Abandonment (threatening to leave, making others leave you, isolating you) 
    • Distraction (gaslighting, judging, labeling, and blaming) 
    • Manipulation (guilt trips, yelling and screaming, lying)
  • The guilty pleasure of Real Housewives Salt Lake City and the LDS connection
  • Join me for a special side project– Correcting Distorted Gospel Principles
  • Your emotions belong TO YOU
  • Start planning your post-narc life with small shifts, it takes time, it takes practice, don’t blame yourself
  • Join me for a live group coaching event on FB August 2-4, 2022! Reserve your spot, sign up below!


Post Narc Life Website:

The Life Coach School:
Apply to work with me:
Email Laura at



  1. Itís hard to come by educated people about this topic, however, you seem like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks

you said:

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